This first picture on the left was taken in 2016.
Notice the rigidity. The poised, straight posture, trying to “get it right”. Feel the hardness, the masculine energy of the do-er. Donna the do-er they called me. My outside is just a reflection of what’s inside. My outside was “at attention”, trying to be “right” to look polished, to seem like I KNEW the answer.
This was the part of me who know how to push, to force. I was about going, doing, driving. I was resistant and jagged, rigid and inflexible. I was reactive and logic based. I was constantly in action, whether those actions actually made sense or not. I was very much misaligned with my intuitive voice because I was 100% reliant on logic and having to have things make sense. My life, like myself, was structured. I was fixated. I was full of discord.
My feminine awoke as I relaxed. My feminine awoke right on time in alignment with the rise of the feminine across the globe.
Just sense into the image on the right. It was taken about three months ago. She is much softer. More fluid. Graceful. She is the embodiment of the new era. This is a place, a space a Way of Being that is about receiving, allowing, nurturing, flow. This inner space is about yielding, re-sponding, intuiting, trusting. It’s about opening, feeling, waiting. It’s about elegance and beauty. It’s about harmony, synergy and rhythm. Fluidity. You still see the strength, because she’s not trying, it’s just that here, she just KNOWS.
Is it the same girl?
Yes and No.
See, inside of myself, what happened is, I stopped trying so hard. This is not to be confused with not caring, because that’s an attitude of F you, and that is not what happened here.
This was an inner shift that occurred when I stopped paying more attention to what everyone else thought and really started deeply listening to what I know to be true for me and to have enough courage to follow where I was being led.
I stopped trying to “make it” in a man’s world and I began creating a feminine balance I wanted to be in. I stopped the wrong making of my masculine qualities and as I befriended them, they were then able to stand shoulder to shoulder with the feminine that was destined to rise.
The result? Wholeness, the sum of my parts.
I softened around my own inner judgements and criticism. I relaxed a lot about wanting to “get it right” and I started trusting life and that everything was unfolding exactly as it is. (Not necessarily how I “thought” it should be) I started bringing love to all the places within myself that I didn’t like, and that process invited me – and my heart – to open. It made me realize how awful I had treated myself and how the deep story of not enough kept me in the masculine energy of pushing, forcing, and trying.
It’s not that I don’t make an effort, now I just recognize the effort as part of the process, rather than the false belief that its only about the achievement.
My soul knew the whole time what was unfolding. It was my ego and personality that had to catch up. My soul cut off all my hair and stopped painting it with toxic black dye. It was my personality that went through the very ugly stage of the outgrow. The humility of letting go of what I thought I knew. The letting go of who I thought I was. But beyond just my hair, I outgrew my mold completely.
Because we aren’t meant to be in a mold.
We are not to be confined or condensed or contained. I stopped following the orders of everyone else and I started ordering my life with values that were meaningful to me.
We are all here to express. To shine. To share. To see and be seen.
When I started seeing all of me, I began to realize and accept that perfection is an illusion. I held it up for so long, I discovered it was really masking the inner story of “not enough-ness”.
Perfection is always a losing game because it’s a measurement against something undefinable.
So, I laid down the sword.
I softened. I started meeting myself with unconditional love, even when it was f-ing messy or broken or I thought it was wrong. Even when I felt guilty or dishonest or righteous. Through jealousy, through fear, through physical pain, I stopped trying to get away from myself and realized, I’m here. I’m awake. I might as well settle in and figure out all the pieces to love here.
I might as well love what I’ve got and come into cooperation with that, because that is what the universe has intended.
The result? Magic. Beauty. Grace. Aliveness. Compassion. Understanding. Acceptance for this human journey we all make.
Transformation is inevitable. The vibration is rising. The feminine is rising through a mass global transformation of consciousness. And, we all have a choice.
You can keep running from yourself or you can take a deeper look and find the exquisite beauty that is you.
If you are ready to make the journey, empower the authentic you launches Jan 18th, 2023. As you can clearly see, I walk the talk. Feel free to reach out directly if you want to learn more.
Donna Bond, M.A. is a spiritual life and business coach, author, and thought leader. After a 28-year long run as a corporate marketing executive who “had it all”, she decided to change course and get a master’s in Spiritual Psychology. Donna helps people to live with reverence and live into their entelechy – the fullest realized expression of who they came here to be, from the inside out. She and her husband, award-winning oil painter Paul Bond, live part time in Southern California and Costa Rica. You can learn more about her transformative 1:1 coaching, group classes, and workshops at https://donnabond.com
