The Values Of Your Life

Happiness By Design, painting of five stacked stone cairns in the ocean

Image used with permission from Happiness By Design by Paul Bond Fine Art

What are the values that guide your life?


By having a clear understanding of our values we can gain great clarity on the decisions we make in our lives. And it is in our decision that we choose to power our life forward, or not. To make decisions with confidence and sustain the self-assurance necessary to hold true to those decisions, it is extremely beneficial to understand our values that motivate them.

In 2006 I was dating a lovely man who would have done anything for me. He “looked good on paper” but down deep I knew something was out of alignment with my heart, my head and my soul. At that time in my life I didn’t realize the importance of alignment between these three key parts of me – yet, I knew that something didn’t feel right.

I got the idea to do a value comparison with this man. I presented him with a list of 100 Values and asked him to pick the top 20 values that he felt were most important to him about who he was and what powered his life. I did the same and then we compared our top values. Out of the top 20, we only had one in common: Love. While I agree Love is certainly one of the most important values to have in one’s life, I believe almost everyone would have that on their list. As I suspected, the other nineteen did not match any of the values on my list. My inner knowing revealed that shared values are a necessary basis in relationship, and we only shared one.

After this little exercise I became aware that this man and I were motivated by completely different foundations and it was suddenly clear that he was not the guy for me. I was then able to make the decision to end our relationship knowing it was for my highest good. Because this helped me better define who I am and to know my true motivations in life, it helped me see that we were not a match. Further, it helped me to better understand what I did want in a partner and in my own life. Although breaking off the relationship wasn’t easy, I believe because I was true to myself, the universe gave me a gift. Ninety days later, I met my husband Paul Bond, the man of my dreams. (We shared 16 values together out of our top 20)

Below are about 400 Values to help stimulate your mind. Print out these pages, grab your favorite highlighter and get started. I recommend doing a little centering process first. Close your eyes, take some deep breaths, focus your energy on your heart and relax. Then, using your highlighter go through this list illuminating anything that really resonates with you. When doing this exercise here are a few questions to consider.

  • What are the values that you live by?
  • Who are you?
  • What motivates you?
  • What are the values you desire to have in your life?
  • What do you want to create more of?


For your consideration, I recommend going through the list with a highlighter and not judging what comes forward.

  • What are you drawn to?
  • What is true for you?
  • What feels right in your heart?


Highlight all of these. Then visit with the highlights and perhaps select the ones that have the most energy for you and that ring most true to who you are. Transfer these top 10 or 20 words to a list in your journal. Own them. Let them resonate with you as part of who you are. Let them guide your decision making going forward.

Most of all – have fun with this. This is a great way to spend time with yourself. But most importantly, it will allow you to become intimate with the values that reflect the “real you”. The values that will guide your decisions, the right decisions for you.

Click for List of Values