Leaning Into Lack

The Waterhouse, painting of the ocean coming through the fireplace into the living room

Image used with permission from The Waterhouse by Paul Bond Fine Art

By Leaning into lack, we can un-kink our hose.

Everyone wakes up feeling lousy once in a while, feeling our lack. Some of us more than others. In the past I used to wake up feeling lousy and lack-luster on a regular basis. Now it’s the aberration, not the norm. Today, I did everything to move myself out of this funk and it seemed nothing was working. I had a massage and went to see my NSA therapist. I experienced a slight shift after that, but then it seemed like a couple of hours later I was back in the same rut, the same funk, the same stuff.

I settled into victim mode and was having a big pity party. This just seemed to be the space that I was going to be in today. It was raining, so I just let it rain. I wanted so much to be in the flow and it just wasn’t happening.

A while later I get a voice mail message from this young whipper snapper coach, Jill. She is thirty something and a go-getter with boundless energy and expansive enthusiasm. Kind of reminds me of me on a good day. In any event, I didn’t feel like calling her back because I just wasn’t in the mood for her cheerful nature. But, in the Spirit of today’s lesson, leaning into it, I did call back. Because I know that when we are feeling lack or resistance around something, we need to un-kink the hose, and this might be it. But I really didn’t want to talk to her. I wasn’t in the mood to be chatty and further, I knew that she wanted to pick my brain, which meant she needed something from me.

Yet I could hear today’s Dreambuilder lesson playing in my head. “Come from the standpoint of giving which naturally activates the law of receiving. This is called the law of circulation.”
So I called her. I was going to give her my time and knowledge, even though I didn’t feel like it. She was doing research for a speech she was giving to a group of 200 women in hospitality. She wanted my feedback about what it’s like to work in the industry, why there is so much burnout and what do people in hospitality want that would make a difference in their lives.

As Jill is a classmate and friend, I was free to be brutally honest with her and in doing so I broke down on the call, crying about my own frustrations about the balance of work and personal life. Jill coached me. She reflected some things back to me that opened my eyes and gave me hope. As it turns out, her message was exactly what I needed to hear. She guided me get back into my flow. But first I had to unkink my hose to allow that to happen. I did just that when I made the choice to call her back and give her my time and attention when I didn’t really feel like doing it. I leaned into it.

The antidote to a feeling of lack, which typically shows up as resistance, is to become a more generous giver. This reactivates the law of circulation and thus allows us to begin receiving again.

As it turns out, when I gave Jill my time and attention, it was beautifully and perfectly circled right back to me.