How to Grow Your Self Esteem

How to Grow Your Self Esteem

Idealizations:

How to Claim Your Positive Attributes and Grow Your Self Esteem

Claiming your positive attributes is a wonderful way to grow your self esteem. Notice the positive qualities you observe in others. Do you see your mother’s compassion, your father’s strength, Oprah’s generosity? Pay attention to this. Notice when you find yourself really in admiration of someone else as you are easily able to see and identify all the amazing qualities they embody. Next time you find yourself in this space, stop and really explore what these qualities are.

Idealizations How to Grow Your Self Esteem with Donna Bond

Claim Your Positive Attributes

For example, I often marvel at my husband. I witness his ability to be present with the people he loves, to open his heart and not to be afraid of raw emotion coming up inside of him. I think he is so brave to be that vulnerable and I find it so very beautiful.

When I witness him in this space and I idealize the beauty of his expression, I identify with it. By identifying with it I am bringing it forward within myself. This is the process of how I can claim my positive attributes by noticing the way I idealize him.

However (and this next part is often missed!) it is now my job to own it within myself. To claim these qualities as part of myself. To acknowledge that I too, can open my heart and be present with others… that I too have the ability, capacity and the willingness to allow my emotions to surface and to just BE with them.

Everything is a projection. A projection is when we see something in someone else and we disassociate ourselves from it because we are unwilling to not only recognize it in ourselves, but own it. Psychological projection is a defense mechanism. It occurs when a conflict arises between your unconscious feelings and your conscious beliefs. In order to dissolve this conflict, you attribute these feelings to someone or something else.

When we are finger pointing or assigning blame, the same type of thing is happening – but in the negative. I love exploring projections in the positive – idealizations – because it’s a way we can practice easing ourselves into the “not so positive” projections we as humans tend to unconsciously bring upon ourselves. Do you see?

So to review, the process of owning your positive projections, which are your idealizations, is a wonderful way to:

  1. Identify your positive qualities through Idealizations of others
  2. Acknowledge those qualities exist within you
  3. Through ownership of these qualities you build (fortify) your self-esteem
  4. You grow your confidence and your self-esteem by embracing these qualities

Next time you find yourself in admiration over someone, slow down and make the inner inquiry. What is it that I love so much about this person? What are the positive qualities I recognize in them? Then, stop and realize, those same qualities exist inside of you. Acknowledge these idealizations, and let the self- love flow.

If you are interested in exploring your positive attributes and growing your self-esteem, email donna@donnabond.com and inquiry about a Discovery Session. Under the umbrella of Consciousness Rising, Inc is Donna Bond Professional Coaching and Consulting and Paul Bond Fine Art. Both, inspiring your wisdom to raise the consciousness on the planet.

 

Seeing My Soul Gifts in All That Is

Seeing My Soul Gifts in All That Is

Seeing My Soul Gifts in All That Is

“I am a vibrational ambassador for the world I want to live in.” ~ Michael Bernard Beckwith

There were only twelve people from around the world in this mastermind, and there was Dawn. As soon as I saw her I thought, “Oh no”. I first met Dawn in the lab for my coaching program at USM. She wasn’t in the class with all of us for the ten months leading up to the lab, but she audited the completion portion of the program and participated in the grand finale.

The lab for me was a celebration of all the ways I had grown as a life coach over the last ten months. It was a way for me to shine and to be seen and really stand forward in my authentic power and knowledge in front of my teachers and peers.

But, that’s not what happened.

Dr. Robert Holden was facilitating the coaching lab. I was so excited. He is lovely and when I am with him I am aware that he is the presence of love embodied. He was the keynote speaker at Royce Hall when I graduated with the portion of my Masters in Consciousness, Health, and Healing. On the first day of the lab, I shared with Mary Hulnick how I pretty much cried through Robert’s entire book Loveability, because it was so beautiful. Mary encouraged me to have Robert sign my book this week. I was overjoyed at the thought.

During the lab Robert used a beautiful black top hat (British I presume) to select names of people he would interact with throughout the program. Each time he reached into that hat with his silly half grin and the twinkle in his starry eyes, you could feel the anticipation in the room. You could almost hear everyone’s inner voice, “Pick me, pick me, pick me”. This went on all week. For six days. Every exercise, every assignment, every interaction, a name was pulled from the hat.

For an entire week my name, however, never, ever got pulled out of that hat.

And it was magnified by the fact that I stood in line on three separate occasions during the breaks to have Robert sign my copy of Loveability. Each time, the break would end just as I was next in line. I could feel myself flood with the disappointment and watch the stories in my head I began to make up about not being seen.

To add insult to injury with all of this, we did a beautiful morning exercise each day where we had the chance to hold hands and gaze into the eyes of other people in the room. It was a special and intimate exchange. Robert participated in this each day, but the energy flow never seemed to bring him and I together.

While I was busy being mad that no one was seeing me, Dawn’s name got pulled out of the hat. Then it got pulled out again. And, again. And, again. And, oh my God – why doesn’t he take her damn name out of the hat!!?? Again. She was seen and seen again and again and again. This was a trigger for me and Dawn became my outward projection of Being Seen. Or not.

So, all this happened. And now she’s in my mastermind. In a mastermind where there are only twelve people on the whole planet. And, there she is.

Hmmmm.

During my first private coaching call with Robert, I briefly share about Dawn. Robert chuckles and acknowledges me for sharing and we both know there is a bigger, deeper more soulful reason that Dawn and I have been brought together. Robert and I don’t talk about this, we just know it and it gets couched. My coaching continues.

We are three-quarters of the way through the Mastermind and surprisingly for me, Dawn has kind of been in the wings. She took a delicious trip through Europe and spent more time in Tuscany than with our group. I was unaffected by her. I was not in her shadow. And that was fine with me.

Then, and I knew it was just a matter of time, her and I get paired for peer coaching. Our coaching theme is My Soul Gifts.

We went back and forth on dates a few times to set our session. She mentions that on Sunday she is unable to meet in the morning as she will be attending Agape International Spiritual Center of Truth. I didn’t think twice in replying to her email and asking her if I could invite myself to go with her. Then, follow with our session. I thought this would be a lovely way for her and me to connect at a deeper level and I had not been to Agape in about 18 years. On some level I knew this union would somehow reveal the mystery of what we had to learn from one another.

She said yes.

We met out front at eleven. She had a couple of family members with her. We shuffled into the row in the beautiful historic LA theatre. Me first, then her family members, then Dawn on the end. We enjoyed a beautiful meditation together and then the service began. Forty minutes in, finally Michael Bernard Beckwith begins his share.

The first thing I notice is he has freed himself from his long braids and is now totally bald. I observe him as a live wire. Literally. He is bursting with aliveness. It’s as if he is unable to contain the energy that runs through him. He is a yeller. All his posse are yellers. At one point I was laughing as the people at the podium allowed their passion to burst through them, they were yelling. I remembered that everything is a projection and reminded my sweet self that is what I sometimes express when I too am filled with excitement and possibility.

Putting into words what occurred for me during Reverend Michael’s share is not easy. I can still touch into the swell in my chest bursting with the emotion of love and gratitude and overflow for this sacred experience and remembering. This little package of a man, this live wire embodied with all the magic and possibility for each one of us, reminded me of my Divinity.

He reminded everyone, and I am sure I must not have been the only one in the room with deep emotion pouring through me. But, in that moment it was all about me.

He held and acknowledged my empathic anguish for a broken world, my shock and dismay for our political climate, my own inner discouragement, doubt, distance, separateness and disillusionment. In a humongous wave of pure Divine Love with the focused trajectory of a shooting star he blasted away everything that was not the Truth. He blasted away anything that was not unlimited Divine potentiality.

“YOU ARE HARDWIRED FOR BLISS AND JOY!” he shouted. Getting everyone to join in asking for us to proclaim after his lead, “There is so much beauty in you, so much love and intelligence in you, so much power in you, and you have come to set it free, to make a mighty difference on this planet and to change the world for the better. Let’s be about this in the here and now. Feel the vibrational field you are creating with each other.” He reminded us that we are all connected because this presence is never absent.  He shared about how consciousness proceeds form. With the burst of enthusiasm that he is, he reflected to me all that I AM. He reflected the beautiful example of who I want to be, what I am here to share, what I believe at the deepest level of my beingness.

I sobbed.

I sobbed because I created this magnificent reminder. Because I am face to face with the responsibility of creating my own reality and the way it was reflecting to me with such magnitude, presence, grace and balance of the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine in the most luscious and juicy way.

I sobbed because in his expression Michael reflected to me, all my Soul Gifts.

He boldly defined with such clarity that humanity IS moving forward, and this is what it looks like to prepare us for a fast and enormous shift forward. That the women’s voice will never be silenced again due to recent events. That, what looks like “going backward” is just the tension of the slingshot being pulled in reverse which is just the preparation for an accelerated shot of evolution.

In every cell, every fiber of my being, I knew this to be true. It was the coaching I needed. Michael was the reminder. Michael Bernard Beckwith is my mirror.

For me and so many.

At one point, he invited all the women in the room to stand and then invited the men to follow his lead in unison, “We honor you, we support you, we support the rising of the divine feminine as the healing power on this planet. We stand with you, you are unmuted, you have power, love, creativity, you’ve got it all, we welcome it on this planet NOW”.  And so, it is. Amen.

I couldn’t contain myself. I continued to sob.

Humbled by the remembering of why I am here, of what I am here to do. Reminded so clearly about how it works in the new world, how I want to experience the new earth. Reminded in the reflection of the gifts of my soul.

Inspired and reminded that WE must carry the vibration of the world we want to live in. That WE must BE the vibrational match to what we want. Reverend Michael gifted me with a new mantra I will be using as a checkpoint, a set point, a reference point for my life and my work.

“I am a vibrational ambassador for the world I want to live in.” and “I am prepared for more good than I can imagine”

I shout this from the rooftops. I emanate this as the vibrational frequency I am sending out and that I share with all whom I encounter. This is who I am and how I want to be seen.

My gratitude is spilling over. Even before the service, before Michael spoke a single word, during the meditation I had a deep sense of gratitude that was palpable. There is an energy, a vibration that is held by the beautiful people in this community. And it is real, and I can feel it.

I am in awe of this man and what he is bringing to this earth, what he has created in this Spiritual community and the foundation he has created to support all the Lightworkers, Gods, Goddesses, Teachers, Sages, Oracles, Wisdom Keepers and Healers that have chosen THIS time to be here on THIS planet.

He is a reset for my true north. He is how I see myself and my Soul Gifts.

I looked down my row at Dawn. With my nose running and makeup smeared I mouthed to her, “Thank you”, as I placed my hand on my heart and gaze deeply into her eyes in a gesture of love toward her. “Thank you”. I sat back on my velvet chair supported by the steel stadium seating in the Saban Theatre. I marveled at the silver etchings on the ceiling and the sea of people who were all just here loving each other.

What if coming to Agape today, on this day, was the reason Dawn’s name got pulled out of the hat so many times? What if Dawn was my reflection of what it means to be seen. To stand forward. To BE the vibrational match to who I am and what I want to experience in this life. What if this whole unfolding is just another elaborate and magical way that Spirit has orchestrated for me as a deep remembering of why I am here and what I am here to do and who I am here to be. Dawn is the catalyst for my Soul Gifts and seeing my reflection in all that is.

Yes, let’s go with that.

I am a vibrational ambassador for the world I want to live in. I am alive. I am grateful. I am embodied with love, peace, joy, aliveness, connection, intuition, knowingness. I am my loving nature, majesty, wisdom, resonance, illumination, truth and bliss. I am magic and synchronicity and wonderment. These are the gifts of my soul, and therefore; My Soul Gifts.

I am grateful for the connections, the relationships, the experiences that lift me up, that show me, me – I am appreciating my Soul Gifts and the Soul Gifts of every unique, individualized expression of the Divine. And today, on this day, I am grateful to see myself. And, I am grateful for Dawn.

If you’d like to experience the inspiration of Reverend Michael Bernard Beckwith, click here and page down to the Sunday service at 11:30. Reverend Michael begins sharing at 41 minutes.

Embrace You

Embrace You

2017 is a One Year in Numerology

As we reflect over the last year looking at our many blessings, our accomplishments, our experiences of growth and our learnings, we acknowledge ourselves for making it through another year. Perhaps we ended 2016 in a different and better place than where it began. Perhaps we are looking forward to another clean slate as we embark on 2017.

In numerology the 2017 year is a one. One is about independence, it’s about leadership. About transformation and blazing anew trail. The energy of a one year is about letting your individualization shine, bloom and blossom. It’s about new ideas. New expansions. New discoveries. It’s energy brings originality, new beginnings and new initiatives. Doing whatever feels right for you. It’s about taking a pass on the crowd, about looking past what the Jones’ are up to and stepping forward into who you truly are – regardless of what anyone else has to say about it.

2017 is about letting your own light shine.

It’s about taking a stand for what you believe in, about speaking your truth. It’s about Embracing You. Your skills, your talents, your beliefs, your perspective, your viewpoint. Assessing your assets and opportunities for growth. It’s about owning your own shit. It’s about taking responsibility for yourself.

What does it really mean to Embrace You? I liken this to being in a relationship with a beloved. When we are in love, our beloved can do no wrong. We open our arms with unconditional loving and acceptance for all the things we prefer and don’t prefer. Listen attentively with an open heart and easily find ourselves offering compassion and reassurance in all situations. We are gentle with our beloved, paying attention to the silent waves of communication that are under the surface and we intuit these as if they are written with a big magic marker on a poster board. We are patient, forgiving and we don’t judge. We are One with our beloved.

Is it possible to embrace ourselves in this way? To activate, cultivate and sustain a loving and supportive relationship with ourselves? To move toward and into the Oneness and to do this by first coming into alignment with ourselves?

Make the commitment to Embrace You in this new year.

Call it a resolution or an intention or a goal. But, make this one commitment to yourself.

As we move into a more nurturing, loving and supportive relationship with ourselves we call forward a personal power that is ready to express itself. This personal power that knows we are all one. We are all connected. The creator within each one of us wants to shine a light on that connection. As we take care of ourselves, we position ourselves to be more loving, nurturing and selfless towards others – as we will have first sustained our own needs. In the energy of the one year we want our focus to be on self-honoring and not self-ish.

Embrace You opens your capacity to share with, nurture and serve others. It leaves us open, empathetic and eager to make a difference in the lives of others while inviting joy, ease and grace into our own life.

Embrace You – means keeping commitments to yourself, listening to the still small voice, taking time out for self-care, honoring practices of self-love such as meditation or a daily Spiritual practice. It means keeping your word, speaking your voice, honoring your truth AND the truth of those around you. It means being honest with yourself about what your truth is. And then demonstrating the heartfelt courage to stand forward in that truth. Embrace You means making and keeping time for yourself. Embrace You is about smelling the roses and feeling the flutter of whatever is rising up within you that wants and needs to be expressed, and courageously expressing it.

For assistance and a 2017 plan on how to Embrace You, email me at donna@donnabond.com to schedule a complimentary Discovery Session today. www.donnabond.com