Seeing My Soul Gifts In All That Is
“I am a vibrational ambassador for the world I want to live in.” ~ Michael Bernard Beckwith
There were only twelve people from around the world in this mastermind, and there was Dawn. As soon as I saw her I thought, “Oh no”. I first met Dawn in the lab for my coaching program at USM. She wasn’t in the class with all of us for the ten months leading up to the lab, but she audited the completion portion of the program and participated in the grand finale.
The lab for me was a celebration of all the ways I had grown as a life coach over the last ten months. It was a way for me to shine and to be seen and really stand forward in my authentic power and knowledge in front of my teachers and peers.
But, that’s not what happened.
Dr. Robert Holden was facilitating the coaching lab. I was so excited. He is lovely and when I am with him I am aware that he is the presence of love embodied. He was the keynote speaker at Royce Hall when I graduated with the portion of my Masters in Consciousness, Health, and Healing. On the first day of the lab, I shared with Mary Hulnick how I pretty much cried through Robert’s entire book Loveability, because it was so beautiful. Mary encouraged me to have Robert sign my book this week. I was overjoyed at the thought.
During the lab Robert used a beautiful black top hat (British I presume) to select names of people he would interact with throughout the program. Each time he reached into that hat with his silly half grin and the twinkle in his starry eyes, you could feel the anticipation in the room. You could almost hear everyone’s inner voice, “Pick me, pick me, pick me”. This went on all week. For six days. Every exercise, every assignment, every interaction, a name was pulled from the hat.
For an entire week my name, however, never, ever got pulled out of that hat.
And it was magnified by the fact that I stood in line on three separate occasions during the breaks to have Robert sign my copy of Loveability. Each time, the break would end just as I was next in line. I could feel myself flood with the disappointment and watch the stories in my head I began to make up about not being seen.
To add insult to injury with all of this, we did a beautiful morning exercise each day where we had the chance to hold hands and gaze into the eyes of other people in the room. It was a special and intimate exchange. Robert participated in this each day, but the energy flow never seemed to bring him and I together.
While I was busy being mad that no one was seeing me, Dawn’s name got pulled out of the hat. Then it got pulled out again. And, again. And, again. And, oh my God – why doesn’t he take her damn name out of the hat!!?? Again. She was seen and seen again and again and again. This was a trigger for me and Dawn became my outward projection of Being Seen. Or not.
So, all this happened. And now she’s in my mastermind. In a mastermind where there are only twelve people on the whole planet. And, there she is.
During my first private coaching call with Robert, I briefly share about Dawn. Robert chuckles and acknowledges me for sharing and we both know there is a bigger, deeper more soulful reason that Dawn and I have been brought together. Robert and I don’t talk about this, we just know it and it gets couched. My coaching continues.
We are three-quarters of the way through the Mastermind and surprisingly for me, Dawn has kind of been in the wings. She took a delicious trip through Europe and spent more time in Tuscany than with our group. I was unaffected by her. I was not in her shadow. And that was fine with me.
Then, and I knew it was just a matter of time, her and I get paired for peer coaching. Our coaching theme is My Soul Gifts.
We went back and forth on dates a few times to set our session. She mentions that on Sunday she is unable to meet in the morning as she will be attending Agape International Spiritual Center of Truth. I replied to her email and asking her if I could invite myself to go with her. Then, follow with our session. I thought this would be a lovely way for her and me to connect at a deeper level and I had not been to Agape in about 18 years. On some level I knew this union would somehow reveal the mystery of what we had to learn from one another.
She said yes.
We met out front at eleven at the beautiful historic LA theatre.
Putting into words what occurred for me during Reverend Michael’s share is not easy. I can still touch into the swell in my chest bursting with the emotion of love and gratitude and overflow for this sacred experience and remembering. This little package of a man, this live wire embodied with all the magic and possibility for each one of us, reminded me of my Divinity.
To keep reading this powerful story visit the blog at
“YOU ARE HARDWIRED FOR BLISS AND JOY!” he shouted.