When Things Don’t Go Your Way Consider a Shift in Perspective
John Lennon said, “Life is what happens to you, while you’re busy making other plans”. We are always making something, aren’t we? We make appointments. We make dinner. We make love. We make a house a home. We make babies. We make time. We make friends and we make coffee. In every moment, with every breath, we make decisions that make our life. We make plans and then God laughs, as the saying goes. And then sometimes, we have to make a U-Turn. This can be an opportunity for a shift in perspective.
What do we do when the expectations we have for the things we are making, don’t go the way we planned?
In that precious moment, we are again invited to make a choice. We can choose to get angry, we can try and force our way into something or we can take a cue from the universe and perhaps allow ourselves to be redirected. I call this following the flow. Falling in step with life, whatever life has for me. If it’s something I feel inspired about having or creating in my life, I’ve learned to interpret this redirection not as the universe saying “no”, only that it may be saying, “not this way.”
Does this lead to disappointment or feeling badly that things aren’t going my way? Sometimes it does. And, the older (and wiser) I get, I have discovered that my happiness and feeling good doesn’t really come from things outside of me. It comes from inside of me. I get choose if I’m happy or sad based on the stories I tell myself and the meaning I attach to things. I also believe that at every moment, I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and life is always teaching me. When things I am trying to make work – don’t, I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe the universe is giving me a cosmic redirect. What is also helpful is I feel grateful believing I was just spared from loss or aggravation or something I may never know about – and never need to.
As the universe is comprised of this everywhere present energetic intelligence, and I am only a part of that, I believe the universe is smarter than me. Therefore; while I don’t always take direction well, I do listen carefully to how the universe is guiding me. Holding this perspective, I am making an empowered choice in seeing the world this way.
This grounds me, not as a victim of life’s circumstances, but a willing participant to engage with what life is showing me, where life is taking me, what life is making with me. And, when I am in cooperation with that, I experience flow and grace and ease. We often spend a lot of time rowing our boat against the tide. Can you shift your perspective in not always getting what you want? What if you threw the orr’s over the side of the boat and let yourself float… gently down the stream?
If you can shift your perspective around what feels like a wrong turn, it may give you an awesome sense of direction to open yourself to what life is showing you.
For an upcoming opportunity to shift your perspective, check out my free mini course on empowering yourself to transform problems into possibilities. Further, if it can support you right now, check out a a complimentary clarity session with me to see how personal coaching can support you right now. Just email firstname.lastname@example.org to find out more.
Donna Bond, M.A. is a professional life and business coach, spiritual advisor and inspirational speaker. Her work centers on serving transformation of consciousness. Assisting individuals and businesses to live into the full potential of their lives, from the inside out. A graduate of the University of Santa Monica, Donna offers inspiring workshops and transformative in-depth coaching programs and women’s retreat. Visit donnabond.com
Why Taking Action is Key in Transformation
No Matter How Small the Step
One of my favorites distinctions from Master Coach Steve Chandler is Information versus Transformation. It’s all about how we can take in a lot of information from a lot of different places, but until we are willing to get the feedback the universe is sending us – which requires us to step outside of our comfort zone – only then is transformation possible. And, it doesn’t matter how small the step, we just have to take one.
Take Action, no matter how small the step
This distinction, I love mostly because it causes me to reflect on my own process. It wasn’t until age 45 when I began taking intentional action to transform my life and really did begin to see real results. Today, just five years later, my life looks totally and completely different. And I would add, it happened from the inside out.
I was always a Spiritual seeker. Since the age of 15 I read a lot of books, attended a lot of workshops and listened to a lot of audio recordings, but I was taking it in as information, not really letting much of it penetrate and interact with my psyche in a meaningful way.
When you’re talking about your own blossoming as a human being, your own self-realization, simply taking in information from even the best sources are not going to have much impact. And this is why nothing really changed for me then until I starting taking steps, which I’ll cover in a moment.
Many of my clients share the same phenomenon. They’re well-read… but they haven’t actually taken the necessary actions towards achieving their ultimate desires.
Steve gives the best analogy to this, and it’s around when someone wants to learn to play the piano. You can read about it for years. You can study music and even listen to the piano being played. You can watch tutorials and listen to educational programming. But then, if you are invited to the stage to demonstrate what you have learned, you’d likely be in the shit. Playing the piano requires practical application. It requires making mistakes and being open to feedback, so you can tweak your process until your fingers are flying over the keys with ease and then you are sharing beautiful music.
The same is true for our life. READING about how to make changes to this life versus DOING it. I think Nike said it best, right? But how many people read those ads that say “Just do it” and think, “Ah, that’s for somebody else. That’s for the doers.”
In order to bring forward our dreams, we need to take steps in that direction. To experience change, we need to apply what we are reading or learning or listening to by doing something, by taking action. Even if we don’t yet know how, we need to get into motion. “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has Genius, Power and Imagination in it. Begin it now.” – Goethe
I hear from a lot of clients that they read this book and they read that book and they took this seminar and that workshop, yet nothing changes for them. If you are not willing to risk the practical application of new ideas and concepts, new strategies, techniques, tools, etc. by doing something with the information you’re learning, then you are going to remain stuck.
Why don’t you take action then? Perhaps you don’t know how, or you are afraid. Perhaps you are unmotivated. Perhaps, even though you may be experiencing a great deal of discontent in your current situation, you find yourself in a place of familiarity. Even if you are uncomfortable and unhappy it’s easier to stay in that space because it’s familiar, or “the devil you know.”
Whether you know it or not, any time you’ve progressed in your life, anytime you’ve strived and achieved something amazing, any time you’ve transformed, it’s happened outside your comfort zone. This is the place beyond where we typically don’t go very often. And, this is precisely why our ego doesn’t like going there. It thinks it’s helping us by protecting us, but nothing worth getting comes to us without some risk or without some growth.
I recommend the following to encourage transformation:
- Acknowledge the need within yourself to go beyond merely reading and listening
- Step outside of your familiar box
- Take just one little tiny step (combine this with #2?)
- Be willing to take a risk
- Be ready at any moment to sacrifice what you are for what you could become (Charles Du Bos)
- Acknowledge yourself for taking a step
- Take another step
- And another.
What makes transformation transformative is your willingness to get out of your comfort zone. Your ability to be uncomfortable, to risk looking like a fool, to be willing to fail. Placing yourself in a vulnerable, perhaps scary place is the very place that opens you up to feedback from the universe is the only way transformation can occur. Dr’s Ron and Mary Hulnick call this place “The Divine Unknowing.” It’s the place that strengthens our inner compass and builds the muscle of self-confidence, self-worth and self-esteem. These are natural bi-products of transcending our fear into courage. They are the natural gifts we receive when we are willing to take action, embrace our aliveness, look at failure as feedback and step out of our comfort zone.
If you are seeking transformation to take action in shifting your life into a place of more joy, fulfillment, happiness and aliveness – reach out to me at email@example.com. I’ve got a comprehensive plan that can assist you in supporting how you want to experience your life.
Taking action is the only way we can get feedback from life and make necessary course corrections along the way. And, it doesn’t matter how small the step.
What is Professional Coaching?
One Coaches’ Perspective
Professional coaching is a deep personal conversation that takes place within the context of a professional relationship. It is an ongoing conversation about the vision for your life and how to move forward in the realization of that vision. It is a discussion about updating your mindset, discovering your skill set and determining the action steps needed for creating and living an extraordinary and fulfilling life, career, business, organization or dream.
Professional Coaching is done in service to creating a purposeful and extraordinary life.
Inside each one of us we hold the wisdom, knowledge, vision and guidance to direct our own lives in beautiful and miraculous ways. Professional coaching is about accessing those answers within you. Coaching helps you navigate the gap between where you are now and where you want to be.
Coaching is About You
Coaching is about the exploration, discovery and unfolding of you. Its purpose is to uncover your heart’s desires and to bring them to the forefront of your awareness. To discover and uncover your essential nature, referred to as the Authentic Self.
Coaching is a commitment to yourself. And, it is not for the faint of heart. It’s not always comfortable nor easy. A rich coaching conversation is filled with vulnerability, willingness, honesty and truth about where you are in your life now and where you want to be. Instead of always trying to be on top of things, coaching is about getting underneath things.
Our lives are so easily stuck on auto-pilot. We fall into the same loop and hit the play button again and again because we don’t know how to move forward. If we continue the same behavior we are demonstrating now, we will experience the same predictable future. Depending on how you think your life is going, this may or may not be a good thing. Many spend more time posting stuff about what happened on Facebook than we do really imagining what we want to bring forward and create in our future lives.
A coach is a partner in creating your ideal life. One that you can be completely honest with. One who calls forward your brilliance when you are having trouble seeing it yourself. A partner who can assist in identifying your personal resources and empowering you to bring them forth. A coach is a partner who will gently and lovingly bring your awareness to the self-defeating patterns that keep you stuck. Awareness, which can often be the simple cure to forward motion in your life. Having a coaching partner is about navigating the evolution of your best self.
The goal of coaching is to help you explore the unlimited possibilities to be realized and limiting beliefs to be overcome. To examine and perhaps update your thoughts, behaviors, attitudes and patterns in service to a rich, expanded and fulfilling life experience. Coaching is about you recognizing the possibilities that exist and then supporting you taking forward moving action in that direction. Coaching accelerates your progress.
As a coach who practices the principals of Spiritual Psychology, my intention is to have you fully, freely and comfortably express who you truly are. Not just during our sacred, private confidential relationship, but throughout all aspects of your life. My intention is to serve you at a deep authentic level and assist you in shifting your perspective to come to know that all of life is for your learning, growth and upliftment.
My intention is for you to discover the many incredible gifts you possess and to come fully into alignment with what is possible for you and your life. it is my intention to assist you in moving forward both in your external life (physical reality) which is referred to as the Goal Line as well as your internal (interior) life, which is referred to as the Soul Line. It is my intention to support you in the growth and expansion of your life on all levels; mental, emotional, behavioral and Spiritual. We are more than just our thoughts, words, feelings and actions.
We have an infinite part of our Being that is filled with all the inner resources, knowing and wisdom we can use to experience our lives in a deep, meaningful and fulfilling way. As a coach, my intention is to assist you in connecting with this part of your Being and bringing that essence more fully into your life.
Professional life coaching is about creating more joy, fulfillment, adventure, fun and aliveness in your life. You are the agenda and guiding you toward living an authentic meaningful life, as you define it, is the purpose.
Live an Extraordinary Thriving Life with the Benefits of Professional Coaching
Creating Thriving Human Capital
Consider the benefits of professional coaching as the support system for an extraordinary thriving life. For our organizations to thrive and prosper, they must be led by focused, thoughtful leaders who embody an integrated approach to life. To create organizations that are resilient, able to adapt to changing market conditions and deliver exceptional results, we need to sustain, cultivate and expand talent – not deplete it. With the incredible pace of today’s business environment and the overall landscape of life as we know it, ensuring our leaders are healthy and balanced in all the areas of their lives is a forward-looking strategy for growth.
The benefits of Professional Coaching provide a safe confidential space to have conversations leading to an extraordinary thriving life.
This 2008 Gallup Consulting study finds that providing social support generates greater productivity in the long run and concluded that employee engagement is a force that drives business outcomes. Engaged employees are more productive, profitable, and customer-focused.
Benefits of Professional Coaching
- Create intentional vision and action steps for the future
- Accountability for a bigger version of one’s potential, operating at peak performance
- Inspires people to connect to their inner wisdom, vision and purpose
- Enhanced awareness of one’s inherent worth and value as a human being
- Less reactive and more neutral to outside influences and unexpected events
- Clarity around life purpose, meaning and goals
- Ability to take 100% responsibility for one’s life and all the experiences in it
- Slow down and show up fully present
- Provides safe environment to uncover and discuss weak spots without judgement
- Shift out of overthinking and self-doubt and into unlimited possibility
- Relationships are strengthened and flourish
- Overcome fears and obstacles holding one back
- Provides Tools for
- Accessing inner wisdom and knowing
- Moving past judgements of self and others
- Converting life’s set-backs into future successes
- Taking ownership of one’s own internal experience, not dictated by outside circumstances
- Shifting perspective and seeing one’s world differently
- Cultivation of Life Qualities
- Self-Awareness and Self- Acceptance
- More Joy and Aliveness
- Expanded Creativity
- Enhancement of Strengths
- Compassion and Love
Here are some other big thinkers who share what they see as the benefits of professional coaching.
“I absolutely believe that people, unless coached, never reach their maximum capabilities.”
Bob Nardelli, CEO, Home Depot
“Recent studies show business coaching and executive coaching to be the most effective means for achieving sustainable growth, change and development in the individual, group and organization.” — HR Monthly
“Who exactly seeks out a coach? Winners who want even more out of life.” — Chicago Tribune
“Executives and HR managers know coaching is the most potent tool for inducing lasting personal change.” — Ivy Business Journal
“Part therapist, part consultant, part motivational expert, part professional organizer, part friend, part nag — the personal coach seeks to do for your life what a personal trainer does for your body.” — Minneapolis-St. Paul Star-Tribune
“Once used to bolster troubled staffers, coaching now is part of the standard leadership development training for elite executives and talented up-and-comers at IBM, Motorola, J.P. Morgan, Chase, and Hewlett Packard. These companies are discreetly giving their best prospects what star athletes have long had: a trusted adviser to help reach their goals.” — CNN.com
“Got a nagging feeling that your life could be more fulfilling? Want to change direction but aren’t sure how to do it? Here’s how to jump start your new life today … Hire a personal coach.” –Modern Maturity
“The goal of coaching is the goal of good management: to make the most of an organization’s valuable resources.” — HARVARD BUSINESS REVIEW
“Coaching is the number two growth industry right behind IT (Information Technology) jobs, and it’s the number one home-based profession.” — Start-Up Magazine
“What’s really driving the boom in coaching, is this: as we move from 30 miles an hour to 70 to 120 to 180……as we go from driving straight down the road to making right turns and left turns to abandoning cars and getting motorcycles…the whole game changes, and a lot of people are trying to keep up, learn how not to fall.” –John Kotter, Professor of Leadership, Harvard Business School
“Between 25 percent and 40 percent of Fortune 500 companies use executive coaches.” –Recent survey by The Hay Group, International
“I never cease to be amazed at the power of the coaching process to draw out the skills or talent that was previously hidden within an individual, and which invariably finds a way to solve a problem previously thought unsolvable.” –John Russell, Managing Director, Harley-Davidson Europe Ltd.
Asked for a conservative estimate of the monetary payoff from the coaching they got, these managers described an average return of more than $100,000, or about six times what the coaching had cost their companies. –FORTUNE MAGAZINE, February 2001
Acknowledging The Call from Your Soul
Be the Architect of Your Life
Acknowleding the call within is about the global call for Spiritual transformation. A call that comes from within to be the architect of one’s own life. A call for one’s own truth. A call for joy. A call for self-expression. A call for fulfillment.
My journey to a Spirit guided fulfilled life was born out of perceived failures, mishaps and decision making that went against logic. It came out of uncovering myself from the layers and layers of beliefs that had been thrown on top of me like wet blankets, weighing me down. I believed that health was a prescription that came out of a bottle. That healing came from outside of me.
Disease stems from toxic emotional stress levels. Every day I was basking my cells in toxic emotional stress for the simple reason that I was out of alignment. My head and my heart were not moving in the same direction. As a result, my life seemed hard. I was frequently upset. I didn’t feel good. I was exhausted, unmotivated, often sick and just, well… bitchy. Irritability was my state of being. I snapped at my co-workers, my friends and my beautiful husband.
There are many people on this planet right now trapped in that same space. On the outside, for some, everything looks great. These people have great jobs, big paychecks, nice houses. They go to parties and socialize with their friends. They make it to the occasional gym workout or once a week yoga class. But perhaps spend more time yelling at their kids and loved ones than connecting with them. Not because they don’t know how. But because they’re too busy, tired and consumed with their auto-play life – running the same damn tape over and over and over.
Deep down, so many people are not happy. They don’t feel joy or fulfillment or peace. They’ve likely given up on ever even having these qualities in their life. Or they are so far away from them, they seem impossible.
What is this life about? I used to ask myself, “Is this really it?” I knew there was something more, and I craved it. But I didn’t know how to get there. I read a lot of spiritual books and have been a seeker since the young age of 12. But what I know now is there is a difference between reading about these ideas in a book and actually living a fulfilled life. Living a fulfilled life takes patience and vision and courage. It takes gentle discipline and a lot of love and compassion. It takes the realization that the answers are inside each of us, not outside.
This life is about the uncovering and the discovering of YOU. Of who you really are. It’s about finding what makes you come alive and having the courage to go out into the world and do that.
But, it starts with acknowledging the call. The call from your soul. The call for more in your life. To be a greater, more expanded version of yourself. From that place, deep inside yourself. The fertile soil of you which is seeded with the dynamic code for the fullest realized potential of your life. You know it is in there.
To move your life forward, to embrace living in joy and fulfillment and happiness, you must take the first steps. You have to answer the call.
To learn more about how Donna Bond can assist you in finding fulfillment, joy and peace in your life visit www.donnabond.com
To view the entire image of An Allegory on the Illusion of Time, click HERE
Ten Simple Steps to Manifest the year ahead
I would like to share my insights to my own personal success as it pertains to simple steps to manifest. First off, I believe this works because I am living proof of using this magic formula in my own life and second, when we can create on a quantum level, we are literally moving molecules. To manifest is to shape energy. We live in a damn HOLOGRAM! We are powerful creators beyond our knowing. If we can simply approach our lives believing that IT IS POSSIBLE, we are already half way there. Harnessing the energy that exists in the quantum field is the quantum mechanics that proves our thoughts really do create our reality.
When I was sixteen I had a poster on the wall in my bedroom with the most elegant ballerina standing on point with a caption that read “If you can imagine it, you can achieve it, if you can dream it, you can become it.” by William Arthur Ward. This quote has resonated with me for more than three decades.
Manifest the Year Ahead with Donna Bond, Life Coach
There are a lot of formulas out there for manifestation. Mine has been a weaving together of many different processes and has worked for me. What people often don’t realize is that the majority of the work is IN THE VISION. It’s in the IMAGINATION of what you want to create. If we can get clear about what it is we want to bring forward, the universe will immediately go to work on moving heaven and earth to assist you in your endeavor.
Its easy to get lost in the “how”, but that part is really not our job. Our job is the vision. Our job is to bring clarity and inner alignment to WHAT we want to experience and then to LET IT GO wiht no attachment, believing that what the universe will bring us is for our highest good. And, knowing that the universe is far more resourceful, creative and magnificent than our local minds. Believing that what will come to us will be far better than anything we could have imagined is part of a beautiful manifestation.
So here goes:
Create space for this. Clear your schedule – be comfortable in a place that you can get some time to yourself.
Center yourself. Sit quiet. Focus on your heart. Pull your energy inward, call it to you. Bring it back from wherever it might be out circulating. Be Here Now.
Using a pen and paper (not a keyboard) handwrite your first sentence that starts with, “I am so happy and grateful now that I………..” (and then you fill in the blank with what you want to create).
Handwrite the vision in the first person, in the present tense as if it’s already happening.
Begin each sentence with “I AM” – when you embody the “I AM” you are communicating with the universe and activating the law of attraction.Use words that are expansive, rather than contracting. Use language that speaks to what you DO want, rather than what you DO NOT want. For example an Expansive Example can look like: I am so happy and grateful now that I am at my ideal weight. And a Contracting Example: I am so happy and grateful that I am not gaining weight.
Work your joy and gratitude into each sentence. How are you going to feel when this is actually happening? Get excited as you write. Describe all of your senses in your vision. What does it look like, feel like, smell like, taste like, sound like and intuit like? Five sensorizing our vision is a key ingrediant in bringing it to life.
Read it out loud once a day. Feel it as its coming closer into your experience. Get excited about it.
**Take one little tiny step, every single day, in the direction of bringing this forward in your life.
Get Set Up For Success –
- It’s got to be 50% believable within the context of your life.
- It’s got to be a progression that makes sense in your life. (For example, if your vision is to build an entire city, you would need to first start with a single building)
- You must take action in the direction of this vision. (We can’t just Dream It Up and then sit on the couch….)
- On the top or the bottom of your Vision Statement write the words “This or Something Better for the Highest Good of All Concerned”
If you take the time to create a Vision Statement, I would be happy to review it during a complimentary Soul Exploration session. Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or learn more HERE . Happy Creating!